Why is it Important to Remember Names?

Why is it Important to Remember People’s Names?

Have you ever had somebody mess up your name? Either pronounce it wrong, or spell it wrong, or forget it altogether? How did that make you feel?

Even if you’ve developed some tough skin (which is a good thing!) and didn’t take offense at this (way to go!) this still did not make you feel very important, did it?

Knowing that somebody took the time to remember our names is a simple way to make us feel important! Worth remembering! Yet how many times do we go out of our way to remember other people’s names?

Learning names is an easy way to build rapport with everybody you meet! Learning people's names is an important success principle. Teaching kids life skills such as remembering names can be hard. But it is so important!

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If you have read Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” then you understand the importance of remembering names.

“… a person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it – and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.
… one of the simplest, most obvious and most important ways of gaining good will was by remembering names and making people feel important – yet how many of us do it? “

How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie

The importance of remembering names is something I am working on constantly with my kids.

Ben and I are SO conscientious about remembering people’s name. I am always super embarrassed when I meet someone (online or in person) and then can’t remember their name after we’re done talking. If this happens, I always go out of my way to find out their name before we talk again so that they don’t know I didn’t remember it the first time. This is so important to me. And it has made a real difference in my relationships with people.

This is something I discuss regularly with my kids.

Teaching Kids to Remember Names

My children love playing with the neighborhood kids. We often get knocks on the door, asking if they can go play in the front yard. They’ll ride bikes or scooters or just run around goofing off. And when they come inside, I always ask who they played with. Partly because I want my kids to know I’m concerned and aware of who they spend their time with, and partly to get them to be more conscientious about learning and remembering their friends’ names.

When we first moved here, of course, the kids didn’t know anybody’s names. But after a few days (and weeks!) of playing with their friends, I realized my kids still didn’t know anybody’s names. I was appalled!

I asked them how they played with these kids if they never took the time to even learn their names?

Unfortunately, my kids didn’t seem phased by this so we sat down and had a serious discussion about names and why it’s so important to remember people’s names.

Learning people's names is an important success principle. Teaching kids life skills such as remembering names can be hard. But it is so important! Learning names is an easy way to build rapport with everybody you meet

The Importance of Remembering Names

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Dale Carnegie

When you remember somebody’s name, it solidifies your relationship with that person. They feel important to you. Like they matter to you and you care about who they are as a person.

Remembering somebody’s name makes them feel like they have a connection with you.

Remembering somebody’s name creates immediate respect. The person feels like you respect them because you took the effort to remember their name. This automatically builds rapport. Remembering (and using!) somebody’s name can make a world of difference in your future relationship with this person.

Or, if you’re never going to see this person again, remembering their name at least brightened their day and made them a little bit happier. Isn’t that a good enough reason to remember a name?

Now with that being said – if you have forgotten somebody’s name, don’t be afraid to ask again! It is SO much better to ask somebody’s name again than to get it wrong, or even worse, to go along pretending you remember it until one day it becomes painfully obvious you’ve been faking it the whole time. (been there, done that!)

Do you know what that makes you look like? A fake! Do you think people like working with, or putting their trust in fake people? NO! But are they willing to be forgiving if you admit you made a mistake and need reminding? Usually, yes!

But is always better to just learn and remember their name in the first place.

Ben’s Tips for Remembering Names

Thankfully, remembering people’s names comes really easy for me. This is a skill I developed a long time ago, and now it just come naturally. Sometimes I still slip up if I’m not paying attention, but the embarrassment of forgetting a name usually kicks my butt back into gear so that it doesn’t happen again.

Ben, on the other hand, is not so lucky. Unfortunately, he has always struggled with remembering names. But over the years, he has developed a little trick that really helps him to solidify a person’s name.

Sign up for our email list to receive 5 tips to remembering people’s names, including one trick that has helped Ben remember almost everybody’s names for the last 10 years! (and how to help your kids remember names too!)

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Charlene Hess

Charlene Hess is the founder of Hess UnAcademy. She spent many years teaching before she had her own kids. She now has 8 kids of her own, whom she has been homeschooled for over a decade.

She has now moved on from Hess UnAcademy to focus on her family and her new site, Secret Life of Homesteaders.