What Is Relaxed Homeschooling? Everything You Need to Know

What do you think of when you hear the term “relaxed homeschooling”?

While many people throw the term “relaxed” around, they may not all be talking about the same thing.

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For some, “relaxed” means that they have a loose schedule.

For others, it may mean something akin to Christian unschooling.

But, what is true relaxed homeschooling?

What is Relaxed Homeschooling, Truly?

The term “relaxed homeschooling” was first coined by Dr. Mary Hood, author of 5 books about homeschooling (including The Relaxed Homeschool: A Family Production, The Joyful Homeschooler, and The Enthusiastic Homeschooler) and founder of ARCHERS for the Lord.

In her words, relaxed homeschooling occupies a middle ground between unschooling and school at home.

Some people also use the terms “flexible homeschooling” or “rhythm homeschooling” when talking about the relaxed method of homeschooling.

According to Dr. Mary Hood, “Relaxed homeschooling is a mindset that embraces these four tenets: you are a family, not a school; you are a dad and the head of a household, not a principal; you are a mom, not a teacher; and you have individual relationships with your children, not a classroom. Learning experiences are guided by parental goals and the goals, interests, and personalities of the children.”  

She began promoting this style of homeschooling back in the early 1990s. Other pioneers of this style included Barbara Shelton, Marilyn Howshall, and Chris Davis of Elijah Company (now Chris Recommends).

Unlike unschooling, relaxed homeschooling is still mostly parent-directed. But, like lifeschooling, parents remain sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. They collaborate with their children in setting goals that include not just academics, but spiritual and life goals as well.

A fundamental concept of the relaxed homeschooling approach is that homeschooling seamlessly integrates into the fabric of family life, aligning with the family’s natural rhythm. The homeschool schedule alone does not dictate the family’s lifestyle; instead, it adapts to suit the unique needs and routines of the family.

While relaxed homeschooling parents place great value on a child’s education, it is regarded as merely one significant priority amidst a multitude of other essential aspects that shape family life. Relaxed homeschoolers aren’t just interested in ticking off a checklist, but instead, they’re focused on developing a well-rounded lifestyle devoted to education, play, family relationships, and exploration.

This could look different from family to family or even day to day; however the overall goal is that each child is treated with respect and nurtured in a loving environment.

Simply put, relaxed homeschoolers acknowledge that education unfolds through diverse meaningful experiences beyond the confines of formal homeschooling, effectively harnessing these opportunities.

The Benefits of Relaxed Homeschooling

Relaxed homeschoolers can enjoy a number of benefits:

Flexibility: Relaxed homeschooling offers the flexibility to tailor the educational experience to the individual needs, interests, and learning styles of each child. It allows for personalized instruction and the freedom to explore subjects at a comfortable pace.

Individualized Learning: With relaxed homeschooling, parents can focus on each child’s strengths and weaknesses, providing targeted support and individualized attention. This approach enables children to progress at their own pace and delve deeper into areas of particular interest.

Natural Rhythm of Family Life: Relaxed homeschooling aligns with the natural rhythm of the family’s life, allowing for a harmonious integration of education into daily routines. It promotes a sense of balance and fosters a holistic approach to learning that encompasses various aspects of life.

Reduced Stress: The relaxed homeschooling approach can alleviate the stress often associated with strict schedules, rigid curriculum requirements, and standardized testing. It allows for a more relaxed and enjoyable learning environment, fostering a positive attitude towards education.

Customizable Curriculum: Relaxed homeschooling empowers parents to choose and adapt curriculum materials based on their child’s individual needs and interests. This flexibility enables the incorporation of diverse resources, including books, online resources, field trips, and real-life experiences.

Enhanced Parent-Child Bond: Relaxed homeschooling provides ample opportunities for meaningful parent-child interactions and deeper connections. Spending more time together fosters a strong bond and allows parents to actively engage in their child’s education journey.

Nurturing Creativity and Passion: The relaxed homeschooling approach encourages children to explore their passions, pursue creative outlets, and develop unique talents. It provides the freedom and time necessary to cultivate individual interests, fostering a lifelong love for learning.

Emphasis on Life Skills: With relaxed homeschooling, there is a natural integration of practical life skills into daily routines. Children have more time to learn essential life skills such as cooking, gardening, budgeting, problem-solving, and time management, making the child’s education very well-rounded.

Adaptability: Relaxed homeschooling allows for adaptability during challenging times, such as family emergencies, travel, or personal circumstances. The flexible nature of this approach enables adjustments to be made to accommodate unforeseen situations without disrupting the child’s education.

Learning Beyond the Classroom: Relaxed homeschooling recognizes that education extends beyond traditional classroom settings. It embraces the idea that valuable learning experiences can be found in the community, nature, museums, cultural events, and everyday life, fostering a well-rounded and holistic education.

Relaxed Homeschooling In Practice

When I researched homeschooling methods back in 2002, it was one of the methods that appealed to me, even though I didn’t fully embrace it at first. I loved the four tenets she described. In practice, this homeschool style meant that we could remain mom and dad cultivating relationships with our children.

I wrote out goals for each year that included academics, but also social and spiritual goals. But, out of fear (and probably my long years in the public school system), I still planned out schoolish activities to accomplish those goals! It took a few more years of renewing my mind before I truly understood what Dr. Hood tried so hard to promote.

Changes I Made

I began to dismiss scope and sequence charts, What Every ___ Should Know lists, and other arbitrary standards.

I simply wanted to see progress from year to year and readiness for high school.

When they were small, I didn’t teach preschoolers to read. Instead, I waited until they were age 5 or 6.

I also wanted to make sure my children were exposed to a rich and varied canvas of science, history, culture, geography, nature, art, and music.

I no longer cared what children of the same age studied in school. I planned according to their interests, their needs, and what I thought needed progress in skill areas.

I said “yes” more. We chased those rabbit trails that inevitably cropped up. And, I began counting everything.

Counting everything meant that those long Saturday morning discussions with Dad about WWII history counted for history. A restaurant outing to the local authentic Indian restaurant counted for cultural immersion. And, building that catapult in the backyard? Yes, that counted, too. It meant that I could take a deep breath and just BE. We could be a family, not a school. I could be mom, not a teacher.

Are you a relaxed homeschooler? What other homeschooling methods do you find fit your lifestyle? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

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