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What’s The Secret To Raising Kids of Character?
As Christian parents, one of our biggest goals is raising kids of character. In fact, that is a big reason why we homeschool.
I’m not saying kids who aren’t homeschooled cannot grow up as kids of character. But I am saying it is so much easier to raise kids properly when we don’t have to erase everything they picked up at school that day.
But I digress. This is not an article on homeschooling. This is an article on raising kids of character.
What Happens When We Force Our Kids To Obey?
Whatever values you try and instill on your kids, you are in for a life-long journey. People don’t stop learning just because they are grown.
A lot of parents are tempted to force their children to make correct choices when they are younger.
When your kids are teeny tiny, this can seem quite easy. Set a rule, enforce a consequence, and allow no room for deviation. Take your child’s hand and walk them through their day, always telling them what choice they should make and what they should do.
Sure, your child always does what you want them to do. But what good does that actually do? Has your child actually learned anything?
Some children raised with this method will grow up seemingly just fine. They are obedient and well-behaved. Their parents are very pleased with their ‘handiwork.’
But what happens when this now-grown child is faced with a difficult situation? He crumbles under the pressure and doesn’t know how to handle life anymore.
Other kids raised in this scenario will resent always being forced to obey and the minute they are grown (if not sooner) they will rebel and reject all the traditions of their parents. In short, they’ll run away and never look back.
So What Is The Secret To Building Character In Kids?
If forcing our children to obey doesn’t work in raising kids of character, then what is the other option?
Agency, of course!
Teaching our children correct principles and showing them right from wrong is a great place to start. But once our children have been taught a principle, they must be given the opportunity to choose.
Now this doesn’t mean we should take the other extreme and never discipline our children or provide them with consequences. That would only produce the opposite effect and produce children with no discipline, no respect, and no sense of right from wrong.
This means you as a parent can enforce consequences so that your child is encouraged to make the right choice. Provide your child with rules that he is expected to follow. Present your child with opportunities to make his own choices. Teach him how to discern right from wrong on his own. And teach him how to accept the consequences of his actions. But do this out of love and respect.
Raising children this way does not always guarantee they will grow up properly. It is still the child’s choice.
But when your child is raised with choices and consequences, and when your child knows how to make his own decisions and discern right from wrong all on his own, then your child will be that much closer to being a person of character.
Children’s Books That Help Kids Build Character
Reading kids children’s books is a great way to teach kids concepts on a child-friendly level. Especially if those books teach character-building success principles to kids.
The Hess UnAcademy children’s books do exactly that. And one book in particular, I Can do Hard Things, teaches kids the concept of agency and how the freedom to choose can affect one’s growth.
You can find I Can do Hard Things on Amazon.
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