How To Start Teaching Kids About Forgiveness

How To Start Teaching Kids About Forgiveness

How many of you have ever done something wrong?

How many of you have ever made a mistake? Who among us is imperfect due to the nature of being human?

The correct answer is – ALL OF US!! DING DING DING!

We all need forgiveness – and yet so many of us are stingy when we are giving it.

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Teaching Kids About Forgiveness

Teaching kids forgiveness can be tricky. 

Typically when a kid has been wronged, more often than not, it’s because he has been physically hurt by somebody else.

Which means the kid is still in pain when they are asked to grant forgiveness.

Let’s face it. When it hurts, it’s HARD to say “no big deal, I forgive you” to the source of the pain. This is even hard for adults!

I know as good as I am at forgiving, I like to wait until the pain is less intense before I am willing to talk about it!

Frankly, it just takes practice. Practice and pointing out over and over again that if roles were reversed, the victim would want to be forgiven if they were the ones making the mistake.

Forgiveness is important because it gives the person you’re forgiving a chance to change and grow. 

You don’t have to get forgiveness to grow but it does make it easier. And through forgiveness, both parties have the opportunity to grow together – instead of the one who refused to forgive getting left behind.

Holding a grudge is actually harmful to the person who is choosing to not forgive. 

Holding a grudge is like loading a bag with rocks that you have to carry everywhere.  They do you no good and only slow you down. 

This is why it is a skill that everyone needs to learn. 

Don’t let your kids be burdened by the inability to forgive. 

Don’t let them burn bridges that need not be burned just because the people around them are human. 

Don’t let them fall behind in life by being slowed down from the burden of unforgiveness.

Struggling To Forgive?

What happens if you are struggling to forgive?

You know you NEED to forgive. But no matter how much you think about it, you just can’t seem to let go of that pain and anger?

A few days ago, we talked about prayer. (click to read that post)

God wants us to forgive. He has promised us that He will help us to forgive, if we need His help.

When forgiveness becomes a struggle, remember to pray for help to forgive.

Forgiveness is something that helps keep peace in your home and goes hand in hand with repentance (see that post here). 

We all need to be given as many chances to be forgiven as we sincerely ask for. 

Why should we forgive over and over and over? Because we are all going to mess up over and over and over!

What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is more than just accepting an apology. 

Forgiveness means erasing the past mistake from future unrelated judgments. 

If every mistake we make is reattached to every previous mistake we have made, then the longer you know someone the more you will hate them. 

What…hate really?  Yes!

Think about it. 

People will always make mistakes. And if every mistake they make adds a notch to the line of past mistakes, then all you see in a person you love is a very large pile of mistakes. 

Let’s say a child (or anybody really) steals from you and then regrets it. They sincerely repent and do everything in their power to make it right.

They never steal from you again.

But you’re still angry at them over this incident. You always consider them a thief – for the rest of their lives! Did you really forgive them?

Are you giving them a chance to repent and become something better than a thief?

Not if you consider them a thief forever.

Once somebody has truly repented, they are no longer the same person. Which means if they stole and then repented – they are no longer a thief anymore in God’s eyes. In God’s eyes, repentance erases the sin.

Easy Ways to Teach Kids About Forgiveness

Truthforkids.com wrote a great article about teaching kids about forgiveness.

In that article, she talks about what happens when we don’t forgive. Side effects and consequences of withholding our forgiveness.

She also talks about simple methods to help kids get better at forgiving.

It’s a short and sweet article but is filled with actionable tips.

For example – besides praying for forgiveness and asking God to soften your heart, you can also write down your anger on a piece of paper and rip it to shreds. This is a surprisingly therapeutic activity.

Movies And Books About Forgiveness

A great way to teach kids about forgiveness is by reading them books!

Nowadays, there are so many good books out there that teach good morals and skills.

Forgive and Let Go is another cute book about forgiveness.

Movies are another great tool to use when teaching kids success principles.

This Iesodo movie is a super cute movie about kids and forgiving. (Actually, all the Iesodo movies are super cute!)

Or this Veggie Tales movie is another great tool to teach kids forgiveness.

And of course, who can forget what a great resource YouTube is? Check out this cute animated clip about forgiveness!

How We Are Teaching Our Children About Forgiveness

One thing that we do with our kids to help them be more forgiving is to point out when someone else forgives them. We help them notice the forgiveness and we help them feel gratitude for being forgiven.

Then the next time they need to forgive somebody – whether that is moments away or farther in the future – they are more willing to forgive.

They are more willing to forgive because they remember what it meant to them when they were forgiven.

It’s like pointing out how happy they are when they are given a gift.

They will naturally decide that they should also give gifts to make others happy.

Forgiveness works the same way. And forgiveness is truly a gift to those you give it to.

We Teach Our Children To Forgive By Modeling Forgiveness

The other thing that we have done to help our kids learn forgiveness is point out times that we have needed forgiveness from others. 

When the most respected and loved people in their lives (their parents) tell them that they (the parents) make mistakes and need forgiveness, then when the kids need to give forgiveness, it becomes obvious that everyone needs forgiveness sometimes.

Kids are more likely to model what they see their parents and role models do.

If you point out your mistakes and how others have forgiven you, your children will naturally be more willing to forgive their offenders.

Everybody Needs Forgiveness

Everybody needs forgiveness in their lives.

Those who give forgiveness freely will attract people who love to learn and grow and improve themselves each day.

These are the types of people I love to be around. 

The people who embrace personal growth will love to be around a forgiver because they will allow them to stand back up and keep moving forward. 

The world has enough people and organizations that will kick people even more while they are down.  Let us not add our families to that list.

Let us forgive and teach to forgive and let people improve and grow. 

Related Posts:

The Importance of Faith
Teaching Kids About Prayer
Teach Kids to Improve with Repentance

More Forgiveness Resources

How To Start Teaching Kids About Forgiveness